Presidents of the USA

The Presidents always put on a good show, particularly when at the best small venue in the city, and last night's show did not disappoint; despite their new smoking agenda.

This is the thing about downtown - people think because they either are, or pretend to be crazy they can get away with virtually anything they want to. That, or they are just plain stupid - which is high to extremely probable.

I made my way to the front of the crowd during the show, but during the mosh pit portion of "Kitty" I was shoved to the 2nd row. As I remained there in the 2nd row, shoved around by the mosh pit behind me and thereby inadvertently shoving everyone else around me, this pathetic loser next to me says: "Not going to happen."

I deduced that this was his first concert for multiple reasons:

1. He thought I was the solitary person in a group of 600 people shoving him, solitarily.

2. He protected his position in the 2nd row with one hand clutching the railing in front of the first row, his other hand wrapped around the large man in front of him and because the poor boy was only about 5'4" he couldn't see a thing above or around his boyfriend, but obviously believed that he had the best position in the entire venue. Not to mention the fact that he was enjoying butt hugging the man in front of him.

A few moments later I felt a hand on my butt. Typical - when everyone is shoving, but then I felt the hand creeping down. I whipped around the see this fat bozo standing behind me looking creepy, ugly and disgusting. I said, as I elbowed his collarbone, "Don't touch me." He looked eerily guilty as he shrugged his shoulders.

Nearing the end of the concert, I decided to head back to find my cohorts and on my way back I happened to pass right by the groper. As I was still pretty heated, I turned towards him and shoved him hard, enough that he fell to the ground.

I should have followed up with a swift kick to the groin, but I never think of the best things to do and say until after the fact - something I need to promptly improve upon!