Friday, September 26, 2008

Why Lie?

I was toggling back and forth between the east and west side of town yesterday via public transit enjoying the Cinemas Canned Food Festival. It's really too bad if you missed it. Several theater chains across America were offering free movies in exchange for 3 cans of food. I definitely optimized my viewing pleasure.

On one such trip on the train a man entered carrying a sign: "Why Lie? Need Beer?" Apparently though, beer was not something that he needed because not only was he headed to Skidmore Fountain to score some wicked awesome weed, but he was fully intoxicated already. It's just my opinion, but I think perhaps a good idea may have been to detox before the next downing session.

In any event, he sat next to me - of course. It's not like the train was nearly empty. Actually, he sat across from me, and his younger apprentice sat next to me. I was reading my book, so naturally they interrupted. Well,... I can't escape all the blame. I made the mistake of looking up at him. His speech was so slurred, I admit, I could not help myself. There sat a squat little man dirty skinned and stinky lacking a proper balance of hormones to enable growth of a full beard. Evidently, my face signaled: "Welcome All Conversation! Intelligible Or Not!"

Then he winked. Er, blinked, but as he thought he was winking and had the intention of winking we'll call it that. I immediately averted my eyes.

"Did you hear that?"

I ignore.

"Hey... did you hear that?"

I smiled in the upside down frown sort of way that I've managed to perfect over the past year that screams talk to me again and I'll punch you in the nuts.

His friend said, "Yeah man, she heard you." And adds to me, "Sorry, he's a little drunk."

Oh really, I couldn't tell. At which point winky stood up and heralded his sign for everyone to see, I suppose in the hopes of earning a little green.


pamela said...

if i didn't have 2 little ones, I totally would have hit up every participating theater in the city! way to go canned food!

Benj and Melinda said...

Jason and I went to a free movie too! No bumb story though to go along with it, which is too bad :-)