Spare jeans

Truly, we must have one of the best park systems in all of the happy United States of America. One of such parks we were visiting yesterday during the sunshiny weather; enjoying the breeze, drinking water, and reading.

Consequently, from all the water drinking I hopped up to visit the convenient restroom located at the entrance to the park. As this restroom was no more than a glorified outhouse I certainly wasn't taking my time when someone tried to open my door - fortunately it was locked. They moved on to the next one.

Not a second later another person came by and tried to open my door. When they found it was locked, they hurriedly tried the next one. When they found that one locked as well, I heard a woman exclaim, "What the *$%#!" much angrier than I would have expected someone to be upon finding a public restroom unavailable. (Maybe she had diarrhea?) A man answered her by asking, "What? Are they locked?" I presume she nodded because he continued, "Try knocking."

A version of that ensued, much closer to what I would describe as loudly banging on the door and I answered annoyed, "Just a minute!" In all I had only been in there a few seconds as it was; wait your turn jeez!

A moment later the restroom next to the one I occupied opened up, and I heard someone rush in. As I mentioned before, being that these restrooms were no more than a glorified outhouse, the person next to me didn't waste any time taking care of business. A different kind of business though; the dirty disgusting sex kind.

If I wasn't hurrying before, you can bet I scurried out of there fast as possible! I ran back to my blanket thoroughly scarred, tainted, horrified, furious, and many more expressive expletives to explain to my husband and get a good look at the mucky filthy tyrants coming out of the bathroom. To my additional horror I saw a family walk just by the bathroom, and a mother and daughter enter the bathroom I had just exited! I gasped and grabbed my mouth in horror.

They too exited immediately.

A few minutes later, the dirty woman exited the bathroom briskly walking back towards the parking lot alone and hopped in the back of a radio taxi cab. Within seconds, the dirty man followed her and took his seat in the drivers seat!!! Dirty cabbie picking up prostitutes on a slow work day!

A few minutes later he popped his trunk, got back out of the car, grabbed his SPARE JEANS from the trunk and proceeded to change his pants in broad daylight. He had on baby blue boxer shorts.

Guess he couldn't go home to the wife with the mark of the devil on spilled allll over his pants!!

Vote No!

I was at the local University yesterday walking around, and I kept seeing yellow post it notes, literally, everywhere.

"Read Twilight," were scribbled upon each and every one.

The revered Twilight. As popular as Obama and yet almost as destructive to every known facet of human culture. This is the very solid reason why I cherish my educaytion so much from this aforementioned University.

While walking to the theater today I saw a poster with a picture of McCain holding up his thumb and the words, "Bomb, bomb, bomb Iran" plastered across his face.

All are true:

Obama, a Brainwashing Cult Leader devoted to admiring himself.
McCain, a Warmonger dedicated to calling every man, woman and child 'my friend'.
Twilight, undeserving of anything more than a sticky note.

What is a girl in this big world to do?

What Purpose?

You may ask yourself, "Why do you continue to give business to McDonalds?"

The answer is simple. While we can justify no longer having an excess $17.99 to pay for Netflix each month for unlimited movies, we can justify $1 every night to pay for a Redbox movie. There are three free advertising commercial plugs that I am not getting a penny for.

WaMu (#4) was giving free lemonade on this ignited summer day, and with my empty paper cup I asked if McDo would fill it up with water!

"Yes, 10 cents please!"

"10 cents? Isn't the 10 cents for the cup?

"Yes..."

"But I have a cup, I just need water in it," I motioned feasibly with my hands.

"Still 10 cents!"

So I hollered at the manager who no doubt remembers me from the time he yelled at me with my dogs, and the time he consequently had to grovel at my feet for telling the owner and McDonalds corporation.

He allowed me to have a tiny sip of water for free... oh the grace of his gesture!

Dog Phobia

A woman ran yelling, streaking from inside Fred Meyer out into the street, "I don't like dogs!"

As is the norm, she was flailing her arms about, repeating her screams, and darting in and around cars.

Well, my dogs didn't like her either.

Hypocrites

Hobo's are the best! Think about it... they don't make no sense, they harass you, sometimes they run towards you, sometimes away from you... and they swear and scream at buildings.

Last week I encountered one screaming and cursing Nordstrom.

"YOU HAVE SHOES! I DON'T HAVE SHOES!"

Personally, I think he could have been more effective had he been standing at the entrance to the shoe floor as opposed to the purses entrance, but apparently he didn't think that aspect through to the finish.

"YOU ARE HYPOCRITES! SELLING YOUR SHOES WHILE I AM OUT HERE WITHOUT ANY SHOES!"

What is funny though, is he had shoes. He wasn't wearing them - this was an aspect he did think through. He set them on a box behind him as he stood screaming and swearing barefoot.

Unfortunately that's all I really got to witness; I was with my mom and she got scared so we couldn't stay long.