Monday, May 19, 2008

Spare jeans

Truly, we must have one of the best park systems in all of the happy United States of America. One of such parks we were visiting yesterday during the sunshiny weather; enjoying the breeze, drinking water, and reading.

Consequently, from all the water drinking I hopped up to visit the convenient restroom located at the entrance to the park. As this restroom was no more than a glorified outhouse I certainly wasn't taking my time when someone tried to open my door - fortunately it was locked. They moved on to the next one.

Not a second later another person came by and tried to open my door. When they found it was locked, they hurriedly tried the next one. When they found that one locked as well, I heard a woman exclaim, "What the *$%#!" much angrier than I would have expected someone to be upon finding a public restroom unavailable. (Maybe she had diarrhea?) A man answered her by asking, "What? Are they locked?" I presume she nodded because he continued, "Try knocking."

A version of that ensued, much closer to what I would describe as loudly banging on the door and I answered annoyed, "Just a minute!" In all I had only been in there a few seconds as it was; wait your turn jeez!

A moment later the restroom next to the one I occupied opened up, and I heard someone rush in. As I mentioned before, being that these restrooms were no more than a glorified outhouse, the person next to me didn't waste any time taking care of business. A different kind of business though; the dirty disgusting sex kind.

If I wasn't hurrying before, you can bet I scurried out of there fast as possible! I ran back to my blanket thoroughly scarred, tainted, horrified, furious, and many more expressive expletives to explain to my husband and get a good look at the mucky filthy tyrants coming out of the bathroom. To my additional horror I saw a family walk just by the bathroom, and a mother and daughter enter the bathroom I had just exited! I gasped and grabbed my mouth in horror.

They too exited immediately.

A few minutes later, the dirty woman exited the bathroom briskly walking back towards the parking lot alone and hopped in the back of a radio taxi cab. Within seconds, the dirty man followed her and took his seat in the drivers seat!!! Dirty cabbie picking up prostitutes on a slow work day!

A few minutes later he popped his trunk, got back out of the car, grabbed his SPARE JEANS from the trunk and proceeded to change his pants in broad daylight. He had on baby blue boxer shorts.

Guess he couldn't go home to the wife with the mark of the devil on spilled allll over his pants!!

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