Thursday, August 7, 2008

Permanent Fixture

With the exception of the overweight female who perches in front of the Washington Mutual Bank everyday, I rarely ever see the same bum twice. Well, make that two exceptions. The wig lady is a permanent fixture of this fair city. I encountered her just the other day getting advice from a fellow street traveler about where to get free meals.

I have always been under the impression that begging on the same street corner without variation would be counterproductive; apparently this is not the case though. I overhead the resident bank female telling her story to a pedestrian:

"We come out here everyday, me and my dogs, just long enough until we make enough to meet our needs for the day. And everyday, I see the crack dealers dealing drugs, pick pocketing and stealing, but not me. I'm not trying to fool anyone, and that's why I come back to the same place everyday."

I was reminded of this story today when I was at McDonald's. I was picking out a movie. A woman was walking out of the restaurant when a man says to her, "Is that your mother?"

"Yes," she replied annoyed.

With a sallow face he answered, "What a fine specimen!" and immediately began to cackle hideously.

I turned around to see who the ladies man was... and I found myself face to face with... none other than... I couldn't believe it! It was the defective counting death row dwarf!

He's a scary guy. Seriously.

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